So my grandparents were in Lubbock today because my grandma had a doctor’s appointment. We went out to lunch at the best place ever: Golden Corral. I was extremely exhausted because I had been up until nearly four am studying. Then I couldn’t sleep because Matt was working over night and tossed and turned. My grandparents are my favorite people in the whole world so I was still excited. As we ate, I was telling my grandparents about how donating plasma will give you an income of about 320 dollars a month but I didn’t like walking around with holes in my arms that made me look like a junkie. Grandpa proceeded to tell me a story about how he and his brother Billy used to donate blood.
“My daddy got blood from the hospital so Billy and I went to donate to give back to the hospital. We had a nurse who was a young, naïve, ignorant little thing and Billy was messing with her. He told her in the Army he had to give blood only they’d poke the hole in him and let him drip into a bucket. And he told that young little nurse that his nurse in the Army forgot about him in the room dripping blood into a bucket and the only way she remembered was because she saw his blood running down the hall. And that little nurse believed the whole thing.”
He cracked himself up and was snickering and I was highly amused by this and also thought it was odd that Uncle Billy used to be young. I also hid the fact that I had also believed the whole story until he told me Uncle Billy was being deceptive.
“I was what, twenty seven, Mamma?” grandpa asked, like he had read my mind, “so Billy must have been twenty six.”
“Those nursed aren’t as naïve as you think,” Grandma said, “sometimes they just played along.”
Grandma was a nurse of some sort before she married Grandpa. Grandpa got up to go get dessert and returned with a pile of goodies. I critically looked at it and wondered about his cholesterol. I felt my eyes get droopy and thought I might pass out for a second and caught my grandma looking at me like she was all worried and whatnot so I said the first thing that entered my mind.
“I used to tell Matt that he’s skinny but I think that hurts his man ego so now I tell him he’s a super buff manly man.”
They both seemed to disapprove of that comment so I tried something else, “he tells me all the time that he loves me and I really love him too, it just never really occurs to me to tell him all the time. I figure since I’m there he probably already knows.”
“No!” my grandma said, “You need to tell him all the time.” Grandpa was in the process of agreeing while devouring his massive pile of dessert. I tell Matt probably five or six times a day I love him. He tells me probably fifty. I need to step up my game so he doesn’t doubt my eternal devotion.
Grandpa announced he was going to get an ice cream cone and then we were leaving.
“I thought he was on a diet for high cholesterol?” I asked Grandma, concerned that he was going to give himself a heart attack or something. I remembered the time we were in the cotton field and Grandma and I were sitting in the truck and I saw him grip his chest and fall to his knees and Grandma and I both cried out, horrified, and I prepared to go save his life. I remember wondering how to give CPR through his neck hole and was fully prepared to attempt it.
“Oh,” Grandma had sighed, “he just hit the electric wire. He’s alright Jess.”
I shook as I watched him stand up and continue about his business like nothing had happened. It was probably the most horrifying feeling I have ever had, even to this day and I sat there in Golden Corral and wondered what he’d do if I took his ice cream cone away and hurled it to the ground. He’d probably make me clean the mess and go make him another one.
“Grandpa’s fine,” Grandma said, “he has great cholesterol, just high blood pressure.”
I then wondered if his high blood pressure had anything to do with my teenage years. I was about to start demanding every detail of his health when he started walking back with his giant ice cream cone. Except he didn’t come back to the table; he walked right towards the door.
“He’s ready to go,” Grandma said, chuckling.
I was highly amused at this and when we caught up to him he grinned and said, “I thought y’all were already out there.”
He was quick to open the doors for Grandma and me because he is a gentleman and I eyeballed my Grandma and hovered her as she stepped off the curb. I always walk right next to my grandma when we’re lurking around to make sure I can rescue her if she trips or something. She told me about a time when she fell down outside the chicken coop and Aunt Susie told me about a time she fell off a curb and when I hear those things it makes weird hormones in my brain go off that instruct me to guard her carefully. Grandma is not clumsy like me; she has two fake knees and horrifying arthritis in her feet. I have issues staying upright with healthy feet and real knees so I can imagine her challenges. Anyway, so today was a fun day with them and I can’t wait until the next time I see them.
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