I used to write all the time, mostly about my kiddos or about the random things in life that amuse me. Sometimes I'd get on a soapbox about animal cruelty, the horrors in other countries, crooked politicians, or even worse, the horrors of Republicans. Since facebook has taken over myspace, and myspace is where I had all of my blogs, I kind of quit writing about stuff. I'm not one of those annoying narcissistic assholes who believes everyone is just dying to know what I'm up to. My mother, grandpa, and aunt believe my life is worth reading about though. I'm assuming they like to read what I do and believe so they'll have ammunition to corner me when we get into ethical and political arguments. Example from grandpa, "well, you bitch about the way things are yet all you do is hang out with hippies, liberals, and homosexuals." Without my previous blog, he would have known nothing about my social life or my love for planet earth and preserving her resources for my future realatives, and I would have possibly been able to win an argument I should have won in the first place. I'm assuming the reason he's so grumpy about things is because he doesn't have enough raging homosexual men in his life. Those people are delightful and glorious. Anyway, so I've started a blog, which I'm seriously going to try to keep up with. I've started a few in the past year but I'll write an entry or two, neglect it, and then forget how to access it. I'm telling myself I'm really going to stay on top of this one. As far as "what's new," a lot of things are different. Makayla is living with mom right now and Caleb is living with his dad. I always feel the need to defend this decision, but I'm done doing that. Long story short, it's what was best for both of the children considering I'm so busy with school and work, everyone is happy, and I go to bed at night knowing my babies will have a future free of poverty because their mom has an education that will send both kids to college which in turn, will enable them to provide me with a good nursing home in the future. Everybody wins. Jake and I are no longer "Jake and Jess." That one's a long and sad story. Jake was my very first love, my first real relationship, and the funniest person I've ever known. I adored his creative and artistic mind and loved everything about him...until I figured out that pretty much everything he ever told me was a lie and he was actually a cheating, lying, manipulative scumbag. This person hurt me in a way I will never forget and there are no words to describe some of the utterly vile, manipulative, evil things he did to me, the person he was supposed to love. It was pretty recent and it still really sucks. I have adopted two tiny kittens from the animal shelter I volunteer at. I named them Kevin and Kyle. My hope is that they'll become homosexual lovers because I think having two gay cats to hang out with will make me much more hip than some chick who just hangs out with her two straight cats in her spare time. Since the breakup between Jake and me, I've managed to go on dates with some....characters. They've pretty much all been utter disasters which I'm assuming is a sign that I should probably just be single for a while. I farted on one guy that I went out with, which my friends found utterly hilarious, considering the humiliating details of that story. Another guy asked me to go home with him after only three dates, and when I told him no, he was a total asshat about it. I went on a date with one guy who barfed in my car and then on me as I tried to haul his massive body into his house after a night out on the town. One guy kept telling me about how much he prefers blondes, while another got hit in the face by a baseball at the batting cages and yelled at ME about it, even though I had nothing to do with it.
After Jake and I broke up, a few of his friends were incredibly cruel to me and said and did things that I have never personally seen one person do to another. When I talk about evil, his friends were freaking EVIL. Even now when I think about some of the things those three did and said, I want to puke. Needless to say, dating will be on the backburner for a while. Sometimes I think I just went out with different people to fill the void that misses Jake and the kids, and in doing that, agreed to go out with people I would never in a million years have anything to do with. Human beings have an incredible way of dealing with things and people don't always deal with situations in the most healthy ways. When I say people, I mean me. :) Anyway, after taking a huge step back and getting some clarity, I realized that I'm going to miss the kids and I'm going to miss Jake but subjecting myself to freaks just to pass the time is only going to piss me off, not make me feel better. When you subject yourself to jerk after jerk after jerk, you begin to wonder if the problem is really you. I did anyway. I began to wonder if there was something "wrong" with me. And I realized that my entire life, I have been very well liked, had great friends, and never the subject of bullying or people's rudeness on a regular basis. More often than not, people are very nice to me and I make friends wherever I go. I have a great group of friends, do really well in school and work, and live my life with purpose and a cheerful attitude. So a few douche monsters who weren't very nice and/or did stupid things do not reflect me at all. What does reflect me is if I continue to allow jerks to hang out with me. Go life lessons! I'm super stoked about Thanksgiving. I'll be taking Caleb to Utah to see Makayla. Makayla is doing very well in gymnastics and dance. She shows me her routines on the webcam when we talk. She's also reading very well, which doesn't surprise me. I've read to her since the day she was born and she's always loved books. Anyhoo, I'll do my very best to keep up with this blog and will really really try not to neglect it!
