OK, so here’s the thing. I can totally explain my new super creepy drivers license photo. My friends constantly make fun of my ridiculous driver license and student ID photos. (I’ve had three different licenses in the past year because I’m bad about losing them.) In every one of these photos, I always look super excited. I’ve had comments like, “what the hell? You were actually HAPPY about standing in line for two hours?” and “you look REALLY happy about being there…” Whatever. It’s not that I’m happy to be in the DL office or school waiting to get my flippin picture taken. It’s just that when I smile, my smile seems to take up my whole entire face. I’m assuming it’s some sort of birth defect. Anyway, so the last driver license photo I had to take, I decided to bring it down a notch. I would be the picture of serenity and class. No more dorky grins or beaming smiles coming from this chick in a totally pointless photo. So I stood there in the DL office, giving my most serene and calm face. My friends are right: I truly am the ONLY person I’m aware of that has a history of beaming ecstatically in ID photos. So after the lady snapped my newly serene and classy face, she printed out a temporary ID, with a picture included. When she handed it to me, I snorted through my nose in an attempt to not shriek with laughter. My face must be totally bipolar. If it’s not beaming with happiness and excitement, apparently it looks like I just killed someone. Seriously, I look like I just admitted to murdering my husband. The photo reminds me of the women’s mug shots on “Snapped,” a show about murderous women. When I got my actual drivers license, it was even worse.
“I will be driving the EXACT speed limit until this thing expires,” I told my friends.
“You look so…guilty,” Rachel said as she raised an eyebrow at the creepy photo, “this is by far the most mug like drivers license I have ever seen.”
“Epic fail,” I agreed, “It’s just all wrong.”
“You should probably just stick to your roots and grin like a moron the next time,” Amanda said, “you look even more ridiculous than before.”
“SERIOUSLY like a serial killer,” Brandi told me when I showed her, “like you just got caught.”
Whatever. As my raging homosexual friend Devon said, “well, you might look like a psycho killer but at least your skin looks really good.” Tehee.
So that is the story behind my madly psychotic looking drivers license photo. It could have happened to anyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment