Yesterday at the park, there was a little boy, no older than seven, with headphones in. As he played, he sang along to whatever it was he was listening to, uttering some disgusting profanities and referring to people as bitches and ho’s. Makayla ran up to me after it had been going on for a couple of minutes with wide eyes and said, “do you hear that boy, Mommy? Isn’t that terrible?”
“Maybe his mommy will say something soon,” I told her, “just sit here for a little bit and maybe he’ll stop.” We sat there for a while, a good five minutes, before I went up to the little boy after he was done on the slide. I got down on one knee and smiled at him.
“Where is your mommy?” I asked him
“I can’t hear what you’re saying,” he said, “Huh?”
I plucked his ear phones out of his ear and put them in the palm of his hand.
“Where is your mommy?” I asked again.
“She ain’t here,” he said.
“OK, who are you here with?”
“My sister,” he said, pointing to a girl who couldn’t have been more than a year or two older than him.
“OK. What’s your name?” I asked.
“Andrew.”
“Andrew, there are lots of kids here littler than you,” I told him, “you seem like a good boy. I bet you’re really smart. Do you think you could not say those bad words on the playground? Words like that are not OK to say around lots of people, especially little kids.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, “Yes ma’am.”
I went back to sit on the bench and Kayla went to play and before I got all the way to the bench some dude approached me.
“Are you that boy’s mamma?” the dude asked me, “I got to believe you ain’t that boy’s mamma since he done told you his mamma ain’t here.”
“Do you know him?” I asked the man.
“I ain’t got to know him to know you best not be goin’ around tellin’ other people’s children what to do. You ain’t got no right playin’ like you’re that boys mamma when you don’t even know the child.”
I was becoming irritated with this lunatic but decided this was a prime example to show Makayla how to resolve a conflict. I smiled at the dude and said, “The first thing I asked him is whether or not him mom was here. I asked him who he was with. I asked him politely to stop cussing. I’m sure as a parent you don’t want your own children hearing words like that?”
“It ain’t your business what I want with my children and it ain’t your business what another person’s child is doing so mind your own damn business.”
“I really think you should lower your voice considering there are children all around us,” I told him, “and you don’t seem to be doing a very good job of minding your own business right now.”
“Bitch, I will talk however I f*** want and I will protect my own kind from some stuck up white woman tellin’ everyone what to do!” He had taken a step to me and puffed out his chest while putting his face threateningly close to mine, because that’s how cool men scare women. I considered puckering up for a kiss to freak him out but I was too annoyed that this idiot was not participating properly in my educational lesson to pull shenanigans.
“I do not want my child hearing that language, especially towards her mother. Please get out of my face.”
He started in again, spewing cuss words at me. I glanced over at Makayla and saw her standing at the top of the slide, a look of horror on her face.
“You’re scaring my daughter,” I told him, “please let’s just stop. How about this? How about I agree with you? Next time, instead of asking a child to stop cussing, I’ll just leave.”
This seemed to make him madder and I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere with this weirdo and would have to speak his own language in order to get across to him. I erased my “let’s resolve our conflict” smile, glared in his eye, and then said softly so Makayla wouldn’t hear, “Listen. You aren’t scaring me or intimidating me. You know what you’re doing? You’re pissing me off. If I wasn’t trying to set an example for my daughter on how to deal with a bully, I’d rip out that ridiculous grill or whatever that crap is on your teeth and shove it up your ass. Quit being a goddam lunatic or I’ll stop being nice and resort to being a bitch.” I pointed to my eye and said, “I sustained this injury during a physical altercation with a man of your ethnicity only he was much bigger than you. This was the only hit he got. He was in the hospital AND he no longer has teeth.”
For good measure I bucked at him and he flinched.
“Oh, and referring to the people of your ethnicity as your own kind is ignorant. Human being beings are your own kind. Adios dude.”
“You ain’t gotta get all personal and be makin’ fun of people’s looks,” he muttered and lurked over to the bench he had been sitting on. I told Makayla we were going home.
“Mommy that man was so mean to you! Oh my gosh, are you OK? Those little kids said they called their mommy and she is going to come up here and kick your….” She hesitated.
“My ass?” I asked, “Wow. Let’s just find another park to go to. This is the second time we’ve encountered a herd of psychos here. I believe we might be in the ghetto.”
The day before, Makayla cried in horror as a woman slapped a baby multiple times in the face and screamed the f word at her kids from across the playground.
“She slapped the baby, Mommy!” Makayla screamed as she ran up to me, tears running down her face, “Mommy, go help that baby! That lady was slapping it!”
I tried to get her to lower her voice but she was hysterical.
“You best tell that child to mind her own business ‘fore I forget I’m a lady,” the evil mother yelled across the playground at me.
“Sorry!” I yelled back and Kayla and I started towards the car to leave.
“She shouldn’t be slapping a little baby!” Makayla was still screeching as we left, “My whole heart is just breaking! Mommy!” She wailed, “Mommy!” like it was a plea for something, a desperate attempt to express the horrible feeling of sadness she had.
“If that was my child I’d have done whooped her ass by now,” the woman hollered at me, “you best teach that child to mind her own business ‘fore she mouths off to the wrong person.”
Naturally, I wanted to approach the woman, properly kick her ass, and then steal her child and raise it myself so it wouldn’t grow up to be as disturbed as its mother. I have no idea how to go about kicking a person’s ass however, and I am aware that taking her child would land me in prison. I also know that any retort from me to the woman would only make things worse.
"Why didn't you save the baby?" Makayla asked angrily from the back seat as we drove home. I fixed my mirror so I could see her face. Her little eyes were still full of tears only fury had replaced the horror.
"Makayla, that woman would not listen to me or anyone if someone tried to talk to her. She would have yelled and screamed at me and maybe even done something stupid. I know it's so sad but there was nothing we could do. I don't like seeing that baby get slapped either but I wasn't going to do anything that would be traumatic for you. If I said anything to that lady or tried to save her baby, she would have terrified you."
Makayla told Matt about the evil woman and the next day we both told him about the cussing kid and the weirdo guy.
“You guys need to find a new park,” he said, “I can’t believe that loser talked to you like that. I’d like to hunt him down and-.”
“Watch it babe,” I said, “Little ears.”
“That guy said bad words at my mommy,” Makayla said, “I thought he was going to kill her.”
“No one is going to kill me,” I told her, “no worries. We’ll find a new park.”
“Good,” Makayla said, “I’m bored with that one anyway since I already learned how to do those circle monkey bar things.”
The creatures Makayla and I encountered at the park are creatures I hope will…never mind. Too mean.
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